I sure enough weighed four pounds less at the doctor's office today. So that was rewarding. I had lentil soup with a bit of grated cheddar for lunch this chilly, grey day. Most satisfying. Got up a half hour earlier today and ate two eggs with veggies for breakfast and was still starving at 11. Bummer. Doctor says I'm good to rock climb if I tape my fingers up well. Yay. Back inot my exercise routine. Plus, I just got a yoga video. I just now need a cardio plan. I don't have any cardio going on unitl ski season, and I can't afford to do it regularly enough to actually call it a plan.

Nobody's fault but mine! I still weigh exactly the same, three days later. That's probably because I went on vacation and went to an outrageous restaurant. I didn't hog out on desserts, but I ate well. Even some bread and cous cous with raisins and pepper, which came with my boyfriend's lamb, and some little yukon gold potatoes, Oh My God. I'm not sorry. I'll never forget that meal. It was one of my top 10, ever, up there with filet mignon at Daniel's Broiler, scallops with a puree of root vegetable in a carrot reduction sauce I had at Mistral, both in Seattle.
Went on a nice long hike today, with a 1,600 foot elevation gain, so made up for it, I hope. Back on track now, eating surf and turf for dinner with baby carrots.
Boy, eating breakfast the other day made a difference. I wasn't hungry again until one p.m., and that's after eating only half a lean cuisine breakfast thing! I'll try that again tomarrow. Sometimes I think the secret to life is getting up a half hour earlier. I feel better, I have more time to eat, relax, prepare for my day. But it's hard to get up.

Now: 148

So it's the end of two weeks, theoretically the end of phase one. I only lost 4 lbs., but this is most likely because I haven't been excessively stringent about the whole deal.
And then, interestingly,I get a South Beach newsletter in my e-mail this morning chirping something about why you might not have lost as much as you hoped in phase one. It's then that the good doctor made his first peep about exercise. And I haven't gotten much exercise, especially since I popped my finger.
The newsletter also said that people who carry their weight on their hips and thighs lose weight slower. That's the first I've heard, but that is indeed where I carry mine.My waist is my saving grace, it tends to be nice and flat.
Except today.As much as I like those little sugar-free candies, I suspect they bloat a person. I feel as puffy as a tick on a dog.
I'm making a stab at eating a real breakfast this morning. They say you ought to eat breakfast. I can't really see the benefit of eating MORE food, it seems like I oughta take the opportunity to not eat when I'm not hungry. But this is one point on which every expert seems to agree. So I'm trying it.
I'm going to do phase one for one more week. Then I'll switch.

Middle of week 2

I won’t weigh in for another two days, I’m only weighing once a week, but I feel good about it. I’ve sure been hungry enough. I’ve been sticking with the plan pretty well, I think.
I finally ran out of the higher fat products in my fridge. Yesterday I went to Costco and got low fat cheddar and good olive oil and some sugar free jello snacks and stuff. I loaded up on veggies and diet drinks, with and without caffeine.
I’ve changed my position on sugar free candy. A coworker let me try a sugar free heath bar type thing by Russell Stover. It was really good, so I got some, and some peanut butter cups. Unfortunately they are pretty high in calories, but they sure taste good. This non-fat mocha with sugar free syrup I just got is god-awful, though. YUCK! No more Da Vinci sugar free chocolate syrup for me! Egad! We all agree that it tastes like medicine!
I sure get hungry during work hours. It’s funny. I’m definitely not hungry in the morning, while I’m at home where I could fry an egg or something. No. I get hungry about an hour and a half after I get to work. I usually eat a non-fat yogurt. Which kills my appetite for about 32 minutes. So then I eat lunch, which is like a salad or some soup or a lean beef patty with Swiss from the diner next door. Then I’m hungry again at 4. So I forage disconsolately for a snack, like a handful of nasty peanuts from the coin machine in the lobby. I need a better plan.
Then I get home, all psyched to eat a nice big meal. But I’m so hungry I eat a snack, trying to be moderate, which at that point in the day is like trying to hold a mastiff on a leash when said mastiff sees a fleeing cat. I usually do pretty well, only because the only instant gratification foods in my fridge are leftovers form last night’s healthy dinner and some sugar free jellos and what not.
But by the time I eat the snack and get dinner done, I’m not very hungry any more. So I stuff the leftovers in the fridge, which become tomorrow’s desperation snack. Then, late in the evening, I want sweets. That’s when I like carbs and sweets, basically because that’s when I’m getting tired. Now I have my sugar free stuff, I eat that. So far, so good.
I am a long-time devotee of heavy fuel. Methamphetamines. Freebase cocaine. Absolut martinis. So I find it weird to be thinking now about cutting back on caffeine! How things have changed!
That said, my formerly bad self likes herbal tea now. At night. Since I can’t drink myself down off whatever high I put myself on anymore, I find that I lay awake for hours if I so much as drink a Diet Coke after six. What the hell? When did I get so sensitive? But there you have it.
So I recently bought a nice big box of herbal teas from Costco and I love the pretty matching green boxes with the little drawings on the front, like blueberries on the blueberry kind and oranges and stuff. It’s such a nurturing thing to do, to make a pot of tea and drink it, hot and soothing and delicate.
I haven’t changed entirely. I still make it with two teabags and chug the whole pot.
I do notice that I haven’t been getting that energy drain at like three in the afternoon any more. I used to want to fall asleep at my desk. So I’d head to the bakery two doors down and get some coffee and sometimes a cookie too.
Most recent dining triumph—I play in a band and so I get free food and drinks most places (Isn’t that funny, I’ve got no use for either any more, it seems). I just played a place with southern food. If you’re not aware, southern food isn’t exactly Jenny Craig. But I got a nice Philly steak sandwich, tossed the bread and ate it with a fork. Swiss cheese is low carb and low fat, the roast beef was low fat, and it had lots of peppers and onions. It came with some nice coarsely cut coleslaw. Kept me going through the show.

Now: 149
Still doing good. Another pound down, as of two days ago. Trying to only weigh once a week. When I was younger, (I'm 34) I used to get pretty obsessed with my weight. It was a sure fire way to make myself crazy. For years now, I've avoided both diets and scales, and haven't been the worse for wear, really. Except about 3 years ago I got weighed at the doctor and topped out at a record 159. So I went to Weight Watchers until I weighed 150. I still drank back then, so it was hard to lose weight. It is hard enough to control what I eat, but back then, I was even less able to control what I drank.
Since I've quit drinking, (through AA, great program) I've been able to get a handle on a lot of other things. I quit smoking four months later, that's been a year and a half ago now. I started really getting a lot more exercise. Hungover, I never felt like doing much. I and my boyfriend, also in recovery, hiked all summer this year. What a difference!
Everyone in my office diets. It's "Atkins that" and "South Beach this" and "Weight Watchers the other" around here. I didn't participate in that sort of thing for so long, for fear of losing it like I did when I was in my early 20s. Now I can, and it's like a nice return to reality. I don't drink too much or do dope any more, and I don't binge and starve like I once did. I, too, can come to work and confess to eating a dessert on Sunday night and exclaim about a new low-carb product discovered. I feel so...normal!
I did eat dessert last night. I had a roommate for a while who lost 40 pounds on a low carb diet, and once a week, on Sunday, she let down her hair and ate what she wanted, within reason. You can't argue with a 40 pound loss. So I did a good, solid week on this diet and then indulged in a wonderful bread pudding made with croissants and peaches and served with mochi ice cream. Outrageous. I'm not sorry.
Still, it's weight I'm not going to lose. I'll never forget one sunny afternoon when a friend remarked that it's too bad AA doesn't let its members have just one beer on a hot day like that one. He so profoundly did not get it, I suddenly realized. It's not AA that doesn't let you do anything. Its alcoholism. For me and millions like me, there's no such thing as one. Maybe I could pull it off once or twice, but soon, I'll be right back where I was. Fat is the same way. I can argue the rules of a diet with myself all I want, but in the end, it's the science of my body that's going to make the rules. I eat at a caloric deficit, especially a low-carb one, I'll lose weight. If not, I'll carry this rather too-lush caboose around indefinitely.
It's funny, I've always questioned whether dieting for vanity's sake wasn't rather more trouble than it was worth. Vanity is not a socially sanctioned concern by the bizarre double standard of society, in which one is supposed to be beautiful, but only effortlessly or by a seemly and healthful and not-immoderate pursuit of exercise and proper nutrition. I tried to tell myself it was for my health but I never really fooled myself. As Anna Quindlen, my favorite columnist besides Ellen Goodman and Molly Ivans, wryly noted, saying that you are dieting for your health is like saying you bought a floor-length mink to stay warm. But Dr. Agatston made a point in the book that was a bit of an epiphany for me. What a wonderful incentive it is for practicing healthy habits, he said, that it improves your appearance. Ah ha! It's for health AND appearance, and that's just fine!
Unfortunately, my exercise routine may be severely disrupted. I injured a finger at the climbing gym yesterday, and it may be a while before I'm climbing normally again. I heard something go pop in there. Doesn't hurt too bad, but these things take a while to heal, I'm told. I tell you, it's tough typing with two of your fingers taped together. We'll see. I'm not too in love with the idea of non-recreational exercise. I'm not historically any good at maintaining it.